An LDS view on marriage

“… for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part.”

For some this is a mere romantic gesture. For others it is the biggest commitment they will engage in, in their lifetime.

For members of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, however, the commitment of marriage spans beyond death, as God intended it to. This is thanks to revelation and the priesthood.  The coined term is eternal marriage. Eternal, of course, as a word, points us in two directions, namely forever and God. This is because eternal by definition means forever. Thus an eternal marriage is one that lasts forever. God is eternal, and thus eternal points us toward God. Therefore an eternal marriage is one with God at the center. For Latter-Day Saints marriage is not just a two-way promise between two people. It is a three-way covenant between husband, wife, and God. In order to understand eternal marriage, as a whole, we must first understand the eternal nature and purpose of families.

“We… solemnly proclaim that marriage between a man and a woman is ordained of God and that the family is central to the Creator’s plan for the eternal destiny of His children… The divine plan of happiness enables family relationships to be perpetuated beyond the grave. Sacred ordinances and covenants available in holy temples make it possible for individuals to return to the presence of God and for families to be united eternally” (The Family, 1995).

The family unit is essential to God’s plan of happiness. Family bonds properly sealed by priesthood authority in holy temples perpetuate beyond the grave. The bond of marriage is essential and central to the family unit. Thus for Latter-Day Saints marriage is viewed with a different perspective than many others. An eternal perspective.

To further illustrate this perspective we turn to President Kimball:

“Marriage is perhaps the most vital of all the decisions and has the most far-reaching effects, for it has to do not only with immediate happiness, but also with eternal joys. It affects not only the two people involved, but also their families and particularly their children and their children’s children down through the many generations. In selecting a companion for life and for eternity, certainly the most careful planning and thinking and praying and fasting should be done to be sure that of all the decisions, this one must not be wrong” (Teachings of Presidents of the Church: Spencer W. Kimball [2006], 193).

Latter-Day Saints make this choice of marriage for more than just themselves or for more than just a period of time. They do it for family and they make the choice for eternity. When I made the choice to get married, I didn't just think of traits that I would like in a woman. Such as an attractive wife, likeableness, compatibility or other things of the like. While each of these are good commendable traits and certainly ones my wife possesses I did not seek for, nor concentrate on them. Instead I took long term perspective, an eternal perspective. As I set my sights on a woman I looked for three traits. First I looked for a woman who loved the Lord more than me as I wanted someone who would do what is right no matter the cost. Secondly I looked for a woman who had the capacity to forgive for I knew I would need much forgiveness in life. Last but certainly not least in importance I looked for a woman who I could entrust to raise our children. I found all of these and much more in my lovely wife, Rebecca.

Once married Latter-Day Saints should make every effort to keep their marriage. The Savior himself said, 

“For this cause shall a man leave father and mother, and shall cleave to his wife: and they twain shall be one flesh? Wherefore they are no more twain, but one flesh. What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder” (Matthew 19:5-6).

Armed with this commandment and eternal perspective Latter-Day Saints have the increased capacity to look beyond the trivial annoyances and challenges that come with any marriage.  Spouses find strength in staying faithful in spirit, mind, and body by keeping an eternal perspective.

Whenever two lives mesh together to become one there will be challenges to face. For Rebecca and I one such challenge was laundry. I had done laundry on my own for 3+ years before Rebecca and I got married. I had a certain way that I did my laundry. I liked my way, it was a good way to perform such a task. I believed I had worked out an ideal system which balanced environmental, clothing, and timing requirements. Rebecca, however, had a much different way of doing laundry. Her way stemmed from tradition, and put an emphasis on efficiency. As our lives came together so did many tasks. The differences in the process of laundry could not be reconciled without significant compromises on both sides. Even though we both had different ways creating a new laundry process was a smooth transition without contempt or malice in jest or otherwise by either of us. This is because despite each of us knowing that our way was right we kept an eye on the eternities. We knew this small disagreeance was not one worth jeopardizing our eternal marriage on, and certainly not worth risking our children's fates on.

As family members pass through the veil to the other side this provides increased motivation for those remaining to live worthily in order to partake of all the blessings God has in store and see their loved ones on the other side.

Fortunately, my family is young we have yet to experience the pains of a loved one passing through to the other side. My wife, however has lost most of her grandparents. In particular she recently lost her grandmother on her mom’s side. Unfortunately her grandmother passed on far too early for our little Emi to remember her. But stories will be told and goals shall be made to live worthily that she might meet her great-grandmother again on the other side of death’s door.  

These small examples illustrate how pervasive these ideas are in Latter-Day Saints’ lives.

An eternal marriage is something each one of us should strive for if we don't yet have it. For those who do have it, it is something each of us should strive to uphold and strengthen.

My family sealed in the San Diego Temple

I offer you my testimony. Eternal marriage is one of the greatest blessings one can have in this life. Through my own experience I know that my eternal marriage provides strength for me and strength for my family. Not only my immediate family, but also to those in our extended families even those who are not members of our church. I am grateful for the knowledge and the blessing to have a marriage that doesn't have to end with death. I promise that if you do not yet have this blessing in your own life, if you will seek it then the Lord shall help you obtain it. 

I say these things in the name of our Lord and Savior even Jesus Christ. Amen.